bates nut farm. or nates butt farm.

I really can't complain about our San Diego life.  It is beautiful, we have made great friends, we love being close to Blake's parents, Blake loves his job, and I love staying home with my boy.  Really my only complaint, besides being far away from my family, is that it is October and it has been in the high 80's and 90's basically since we moved here. 

I am missing autumn in Utah right now.  I want to see brightly colored mountains and I want to feel crisp cool air.  And this 90 degree weather just isn't cutting it for me.  A week ago I decided that it was Fall and I was going to start acting like it.  So Knox and I got dressed in Fall clothes and then spent the rest of the day sweating our guts out and blasting the AC.  The next day I gave in to the weather and we went back to shorts and t-shirts.  

It has finally started cooling down and this past weekend it was downright chilly here as the high was somewhere just shy of 80.  So I deemed it Fall once more and we packed up our car with Knox and the grandparents and we drove a few miles to Bates Nut Farm (my in-laws call it "Nates Butt Farm" and I really prefer that) so that we could soak up our "Fall weather" and Knox could pick his first pumpkin.  

It was perfect.  It was one of those moments you dream of before you become parents.  The pumpkin patch was tucked up in the hills of San Diego and there were rows and rows of massive pumpkins. Knox was tired but so happy and willing to go along with my excitement and we were able to get the best pictures and come home with Knox's very first pumpkin, from his very first trip to the pumpkin patch. And I was in heaven because it felt like Fall, but mostly because I was there with my boys and we were a family and we were so happy.  

I laid in bed later that night and talked to Blake about how content I was feeling and how I loved being a wife and mom so much that I almost couldn't find the words to express it.  He summed it up for me perfectly when he said "my cup runneth over." That is how I have been feeling every day lately.  I have so much to be grateful for and I have more love than I know what to do with for my husband and baby.   Right now I am as content as I've ever been. And so I'm savoring it.  I'm soaking in the wonderful moments that I get to experience every day, because they really are the best. I wish I could freeze time for just a minute and keep my baby small for just a little bit longer, but I know that I can't so I'm trying to make sure I'm not wasting any precious second.  I would love nothing more than to bottle up these feelings and save them for a rainy day because I know I won't feel like this forever.  I know that there will be days where I want to pull my hair out, and I will be mad at Knox or Blake for one thing or another, but I know that even when things get harder and we have stressful days, weeks, and months that there will always be the special moments like the ones at the pumpkin patch.  And for that, I am so grateful.  

 

Thanks for the memories Nate's Butt Farm.  We'll be back!!

Longer out than in.

Today is a milestone.  Knox hit nine months.  Or he hit the "longer out than in" milestone as I like to refer to it.  I cannot believe that we've been holding our little squish in our arms longer than I held him in my belly.  It feels like it has flown by. 

It has been the greatest privilege for Blake and I to be Knox's parents.  Heavenly Father knew exactly what he was doing when he sent us a baby so fast.  He brings the sweetest spirit into our lives and he has made our family so much stronger.  I think I have learned more from Knox than he'll ever learn from me.  I truly love being his mom and watching Blake be a dad has been such a treat for me.  I have never seen a dad love his son more than Blake loves our little bear.  It has made me fall in love with Blake even more.

Watching Knox grow every day is so fun.  It seems like his brain has developed by leaps and bounds lately.  He picks up something new every day and I wake up every day eager to see what it's going to be.  I have so much fun with my little boy!  Here are some of our favorite things about Knox right now:

Knox learned to wave this past month and he waves to pretty much everyone.  He will smile, wave, and interact with anyone as long as he is in the safety of his parents arms.  

Knox also learned the art of the "no" head shake.  If we ask him a question, he shakes his head no.  If we give him a kiss and he doesn't like it, he shakes his head no.  If he is done eating he purses his lips as tight as he can and shakes his head no.  Right now we think it is the cutest thing ever but I'm sure when he is 2 and yelling "NO" at us loudly, we won't find it as endearing.  

Knox has learned to army crawl.  He can get anything he needs by dragging his body across the ground.  He is so close to crawling.  He gets in the position and tries so hard to move his little hands and legs together but he just isn't quite there yet.  I think it'll happen any day. 

Knox still doesn't sleep through the night. Enough said.

Knox has his two front teeth on the bottom and he just got a new tooth on the top.  Not his front tooth, the one next to it.  He has a little fang.  Poor guy.

Knox has the best personality and is so easy going.  He loves to be kissed and tickled and thrown around.  He loves to be on the go.  He is content wherever we go and he is always very observant of everything around him. 

Since moving to San Diego, Knox has learned to love swimming.  We take him swimming 3-4 nights a week after dad gets home and he loves it.  He splashes and laughs the whole time.  

Knox loves food and will eat anything.  This hasn't fattened him up, however.  Knox is such a skinny little boy with a perfectly big, round noggin.  I love it.  

Knox loves Disney.  If anyone questioned whether or not he was my child that should clear it up.  He loves his Disney toys, he loves to watch Mickey Mouse Club House, and he loves to meet up with uncle Brandt and ride all the rides at Disneyland.  That's my boy!!

The flash was a little bright for him here, but seriously how cute is that face???

The best thing about Knox though is how much he loves us.  He is such a snuggler and loves to give kisses and huge hugs.  Knox always wants to be touching us and cuddling.  Whenever I drive I have to hold his hand in the back of the car and whenever we play he is always in my lap.  He is such a little love and I love that about him.  He has the best heart.

Blake and I are so lucky to be Knox's parents.  We love him more than we ever thought we could and that love gets deeper every day.  We can't wait for the next 9 months!!

Love you Knoxy!!

a place to call home.

As I'm sure you gathered from the previous post, Blake and I are in San Diego!  We got here about a month ago and we are loving it.  We are living with Blake's parents for the time being and it has been so fun to be close to them.  We are loving this new little adventure that we are having but I just want to go back for a minute and finish up with our time in Provo.

As Blake and I packed up our house, I found I had a knot in my stomach, as everything brought back sweet memories of the year we lived in our very first home together.  When we moved into our apartment last August I never could have imagined how difficult it would be to leave.  It wasn't anything grand and in many ways it was far less than great.  For example, the stairs that led up to our apartment were tilting and looked like they were barely hanging on.  I had major fears that one day they would fall off and we would be trapped but they somehow stuck it out for us.  We never had a microwave plate...which led to many burnt or undercooked bags of popcorn, much to Blake's dismay.  Our carpet was once a nice (I use that term loosely here) bright shade of teal that over the years had been dulled to a nice shade of brown in many areas.  We spent hours cleaning that carpet only to find that even the brighter shade was still less than desirable.  The neighbors that lived below us were nice enough to let their kids scream most nights from ten until about midnight giving us a nice mind numbing way to go to sleep. All these things brought bits of grief to Blake and I at some time or another during our time living there but it only took about one week of living there before we grew accustomed to those things and we learned to find them endearing (except for the popcorn problem, which got more annoying every time), because they were OUR tilting steps, and it was OUR ugly teal carpet, and they were OUR obnoxious neighbors.

I truly grew to love that house because it provided us a place to be our own family unit for the first time.  It was the place that we spent a full week repainting every surface. It was the place where Blake and I spent hours and hours doing homework.  It was the place that I laid, on bed rest, counting contractions and dreaming of our sweet baby boy. It was there that Blake and I put up our first Christmas tree together.  It was there that we spent hours praying together that our baby would be safe, that we would succeed in school, that we would know which job we were supposed to take.  It was the place that we brought our perfect Knox home for the first time.  It was the place where I spent many, many hours and nights rocking my baby.  It was the place where Knox smiled for the first time, laughed for the first time, rolled for the first time, and sat for the first time.  It was the place that we went home to after exhausting days and we all cuddled up together and talked about everything that had happened.  It was the place that we called home.

As we packed up our stuff and I let a few tears fall, I realized it wasn't the place that I was sad to leave, it was the memories.  It had been our home for the hardest, and best year of my life and it was hard to let that go.  So, I let myself be sad for a little bit and then I toughened up and kept moving forward, but not before we took pictures of everything so that I could always remember the first home that held my heart.

We loaded everything into the truck and when the house was empty, Blake and I spent a few minutes alone walking through one last time.  We went into every room and then into Knox's room last and my heart was full.  It was there that I realized, that the location and the place doesn't matter, because wherever my boys are is my home.   I will learn to love our next home just as much because it's the people that make it feel special.

Moving here was hard for me at times leaving the only life I'd ever known in Utah, leaving my family, leaving my safe place, but I quickly became accustomed and now I feel just as at home here as I did in Utah.  I am so grateful for my sweet boys that make my life so full and so meaningful.  I know that as long as we always go together, I will always have a home.

And now for some pictures of our first little home:

Our room

 Kitchen

Living room

Our sweet little Knox's room

beach time.

We went to dinner Friday night for my sweet father-in-laws birthday and afterwards we took Knoxy to the beach for his first time.  He loved it and could hardly contain his excitement.  He loved the waves and really loved putting his feet in the water.  It was one of those sweet parenting moments where you wish you could freeze time and stay there for a little longer.  It was a perfect night.

After seeing how much Knox loved the beach we followed it up with a little family visit to the beach Sunday night to watch the sunset.  It was one of the prettiest sunsets I have ever seen and it was such a perfect night.  We can't wait to make it a family tradition.

We graduated!!!

This post is way overdue (like 2 months) and what I really want to write about is our family trip to St. George and Disney World, and Knox's surgery and 1st hair cut (bad idea) but this is a huge milestone so here goes:

Our time at BYU has finally come to a close.  I thought all along that it would just be sweet but I found that at the very end there, it became a little bittersweet as I reminisced at all that has happened in the four short years that I've had the privilege of attending BYU.

I started out as a barely 18 year old with no experience living away from home who was completely unprepared for college life.  I ended as a 21 (still pretty young) year old with a husband and baby.  Talk about changes.

I will always be grateful that I had the chance to go to BYU and that I earned my degree and that no one can take that away from me.  I will always be even more grateful that it was only 4 years and that it's over. Just kidding....kind of.  As I've looked back at all that happened a few things stand out.

My sister Nina moved to a house just 15 minutes away from BYU right before my Freshman year started.  Talk about a tender mercy.  I'm pretty sure I've spent as much time at her house as at any of the places I've lived over the past four years...of wait I did live at her house 2 different times.  She became my greatest example of what it means to be a young mother, friend, and wife.  I call her for advice about everything and I am so glad that I had the chance to be so close to her!

I got to spend my first two years at BYU rooming with this girl.

It was a huge blessing as I learned so much from her and she became one of my dearest and best friends.  She is insanely smart and driven, kind, funny, thoughtful, and so darn pretty.  She is planning on heading to medical school here in the near future (I told you she was smart), and she is single if anyone is interested.  :)

I also got to have my brother Brandt at BYU with me the first two years I was there.  It was such a gift and although we were already close, I grew even closer to him.  He treated me so good and always let me tag along in whatever he was doing.  I always knew Brandt was kind but I got to see just how good his heart was as he dealt with Freshman Mari.  He is one of my best friends and I knew that he was meant to be there with me to get me through, because heaven knows I struggled through those first two years.

(He's also single and the greatest guy ever!! :))

After my freshmen year I had the privilege of going on a study abroad with Brandt to England.  We lived in the BYU London Center and it was so magical and one of my best memories.  If I could move back, I would do it without even batting an eye.  I probably learned and grew more through my experience there than any other thing I've done.  It turned me into an independent person and it was a much needed learning experience.  I also made some of my best friends there and I will always treasure that.

After my sophomore year at BYU I met this handsome man.

And my life changed forever.  We had the most incredible summer together in which we met, dated for a few weeks, went on 2 family vacations together, flew to San Diego to visit his family, fought a bout of meningitis, and moved all his stuff up to Utah so he could begin his 2nd year of law school at BYU.

We were only a few weeks into my Junior year of college when Blake popped the question and I said yes. We had a busy semester as we Blake worked really hard in school and planned a wedding.  In February of that same school year we got married.  As soon as the school year ended we found out we were pregnant.

My last year at BYU consisted of pregnancy, bed rest, finals, having a baby, and then trying to figure out how to balance being a wife, mother, and full time student.  I didn't do it very well (and I have the grades to prove it) but I will always have the sweetest memories of this time of life as it was so simple.  We had little to worry about and both Blake and I got to soak up so much time with our little man.  He came a little earlier than we planned but if I could go back and do it again I would do it just the same.

In the short four years I was at BYU I learned so much, but I learned far more outside of class than in. I became a new person.  I am so proud that I did it, I'm so glad that it's over and I am so excited to move on to the next stage of life.  I know that I will learn and grow just as much, and I get to have my two favorite people by my side always.  What a lucky lady I am.

we have a thumb sucker and other random thoughts

Our little boy passed the 3 month mark a few days ago.   How is it possible that 3 months of pregnancy feels like 7 years and 3 months of a babies life feels like a mere blink of an eye? It is a little bitter but mostly sweet.  I feel like he is growing up before my eyes and I should just have my tiny little newborn still but instead I have a growing baby who gets more and more fun every day.  


Knox reached 12 pounds finally (a whopping 10th percentile) and it seems when he hit 12 pounds he become the funnest and happiest baby around.  His eyes are getting to be a piercing blue, his cheeks are  becoming more and more squishy and kissable, and his smile lights up a room.  Needless to say he has my heart.  

Knox has recently discovered his thumb and he likes to suck on it as much as possible.  As Blake pointed out, it's so cute now, but when we're paying for orthodontics to undue the damage done from his perfect little thumb, it won't be so cute. 


Knox has a love affair with jumping that is unmatched.  We can't wait until he is big enough for a Johnny Jump-up.  Until then we are the ones helping him jump.  My arms have never been stronger.


Blake and I are less than 2 weeks away from graduation.  We have been driven to counting down the hours until we are done. We can't wait to move on to our next stage. 


We bought a one way ticket to San Diego for Knox and me.  I had a moment of panic where I told Blake he couldn't by the ticket but once we had paid for it I was fine.  I can't believe we are actually moving.  I get more excited every day and I am so excited to spend my days at the pool, beach, Sea World, Disneyland, and the zoo with my little boy and handsome husband.  Life could be worse.

We've been spoiled to have Blake's mom Sharon in town to help us get through finals.  We always love having her here.

And lastly, Blake's mom bought Knox the cutest outfit for Easter.  We pulled it out and put it on Knox for the first time yesterday.  I may be bias because I am his mom but I have never seen a cuter kid.  Here is proof.

This is how Knox looks at me sometimes and I feel like he is judging me. I feel slightly self conscious but it's so cute that I get over it pretty easily.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what Knox would look like with pigtails, here's a little picture to clear that up.  

catch up

Well, I have so much to catch up on I don't know where to begin.  We have the best little life right now.  This has been a wild semester and we cannot wait for it to come to a close but I know we will always look back at this time in our life with sweet memories. Right now our life is so simple and we have little to worry about and I will always be grateful for that.

Now for some catch up...we'll start way back in February.  Knoxy bear went on his first plane flight to San Diego.  He was an angel and didn't make one peep the whole way.  He just snuggled on up to me and slept the whole time.  I was one proud mama.  We flew in on a Friday and came back on a Wednesday and packed in as much as we could with a little baby while we were there.

The first day we were there was our one year anniversary, and what a year it has been. In only one year we have gone from this:

To this:

And I have never, ever been happier.  I am so in love with my sweet, sweet husband and he has given me the greatest gift in the world: a perfect baby boy.  When we got married I never would have imagined what our first year of marriage would have in store for us but I wouldn't do it any different.  I married the greatest man on earth and I love being his wife. He is my better half and makes me a better person.  We have the best time being together and he truly is my very best friend.  Ok, enough lovey dovey.

We celebrated while we there.  We left our little man with grandma and grandpa and went and had a delicious lunch on the beach.  We came back and packed everyone up and headed to hang out with my brother Brandt in Disneyland.  He works at Disney so he can get us in free. Bonus.  It was super crowded, but some soup in a bread bowl followed up by a churro and a few rides made me one happy girl.

 The first of many family trips to Disneyland. 

And Knox slept through everything...fireworks and all.  Angel baby. 

Sunday we headed to church.  Half the ward was so confused, as the last time they had seen us was at our wedding reception a year prior.  No one could figure out whose baby we were holding.  Yes, it's ours.  Yes, it was fast.  

We got Knox ready for church with a bath in the sink.  Poor guy.

It was just slightly too small but he LOVES baths so he was happy anyways.  

How cute is my baby?

My brother drove down and spent the night on Sunday and hung out with us all day Monday. We love hanging out with Brandt and are so glad anytime that we get to spend time with him as it isn't as frequent as we would like.  Knoxy bear loved my sweet brother.  Whenever Brandt held him he was content and happy. 

Knox would stare intently at Brandt's face and coo and smile.  It melted my heart.

Knox upgraded from the sink to grandma and grandpa's BIG tub after our first go round and he loved it. Bath time is always one of our favorite times.

 I have the most handsome boys.

 

Blake's dog Harley liked to be wherever Knox was....

It was a love/hate relationship.

On Tuesday we got up, got ready, and headed to the temple. Blake's mom just sat outside the temple and held Knox so that we could enjoy it.  I love the temple and how peaceful it is and San Diego is definitely one of my favorites.

 Look at that sky...that is definitely my kind of February weather!

We got to hang out with Sharon all day and enjoy our last day in San Diego.  We headed out Wednesday afternoon.  We love San Diego!

Now moving on to Knox's blessing.  It was the sweetest day.  Blessing your first child is so surreal but so magical.  Blake did an incredible job and gave Knox the most perfect little blessing and Knox didn't make a peep the whole time.  We were so lucky to be surrounded by so many friends and family.  We are incredibly blessed. We love our little boy so much and are more grateful for him every day.  It is a privilege to be his mom.

Knox had the CUTEST blessing outfit....

But he didn't like wearing the hat...darn it.

We love our little family and we love that Knox is part of it. He is our whole world and we are so grateful for him.

And lastly, we have big news.  Blake got a GREAT job in San Diego so we are moving at the end of July.  We are so grateful for this amazing opportunity and we can't wait for this adventure and for the next chapter of our lives.