catch up

Well, I have so much to catch up on I don't know where to begin.  We have the best little life right now.  This has been a wild semester and we cannot wait for it to come to a close but I know we will always look back at this time in our life with sweet memories. Right now our life is so simple and we have little to worry about and I will always be grateful for that.

Now for some catch up...we'll start way back in February.  Knoxy bear went on his first plane flight to San Diego.  He was an angel and didn't make one peep the whole way.  He just snuggled on up to me and slept the whole time.  I was one proud mama.  We flew in on a Friday and came back on a Wednesday and packed in as much as we could with a little baby while we were there.

The first day we were there was our one year anniversary, and what a year it has been. In only one year we have gone from this:

To this:

And I have never, ever been happier.  I am so in love with my sweet, sweet husband and he has given me the greatest gift in the world: a perfect baby boy.  When we got married I never would have imagined what our first year of marriage would have in store for us but I wouldn't do it any different.  I married the greatest man on earth and I love being his wife. He is my better half and makes me a better person.  We have the best time being together and he truly is my very best friend.  Ok, enough lovey dovey.

We celebrated while we there.  We left our little man with grandma and grandpa and went and had a delicious lunch on the beach.  We came back and packed everyone up and headed to hang out with my brother Brandt in Disneyland.  He works at Disney so he can get us in free. Bonus.  It was super crowded, but some soup in a bread bowl followed up by a churro and a few rides made me one happy girl.

 The first of many family trips to Disneyland. 

And Knox slept through everything...fireworks and all.  Angel baby. 

Sunday we headed to church.  Half the ward was so confused, as the last time they had seen us was at our wedding reception a year prior.  No one could figure out whose baby we were holding.  Yes, it's ours.  Yes, it was fast.  

We got Knox ready for church with a bath in the sink.  Poor guy.

It was just slightly too small but he LOVES baths so he was happy anyways.  

How cute is my baby?

My brother drove down and spent the night on Sunday and hung out with us all day Monday. We love hanging out with Brandt and are so glad anytime that we get to spend time with him as it isn't as frequent as we would like.  Knoxy bear loved my sweet brother.  Whenever Brandt held him he was content and happy. 

Knox would stare intently at Brandt's face and coo and smile.  It melted my heart.

Knox upgraded from the sink to grandma and grandpa's BIG tub after our first go round and he loved it. Bath time is always one of our favorite times.

 I have the most handsome boys.

 

Blake's dog Harley liked to be wherever Knox was....

It was a love/hate relationship.

On Tuesday we got up, got ready, and headed to the temple. Blake's mom just sat outside the temple and held Knox so that we could enjoy it.  I love the temple and how peaceful it is and San Diego is definitely one of my favorites.

 Look at that sky...that is definitely my kind of February weather!

We got to hang out with Sharon all day and enjoy our last day in San Diego.  We headed out Wednesday afternoon.  We love San Diego!

Now moving on to Knox's blessing.  It was the sweetest day.  Blessing your first child is so surreal but so magical.  Blake did an incredible job and gave Knox the most perfect little blessing and Knox didn't make a peep the whole time.  We were so lucky to be surrounded by so many friends and family.  We are incredibly blessed. We love our little boy so much and are more grateful for him every day.  It is a privilege to be his mom.

Knox had the CUTEST blessing outfit....

But he didn't like wearing the hat...darn it.

We love our little family and we love that Knox is part of it. He is our whole world and we are so grateful for him.

And lastly, we have big news.  Blake got a GREAT job in San Diego so we are moving at the end of July.  We are so grateful for this amazing opportunity and we can't wait for this adventure and for the next chapter of our lives.  

thoughts on motherhood

I have so much to catch up on like Knox's perfectly sweet blessing and our trip to San Diego but that will have to wait because tonight all I want to write about is my sweet little Knox.  Tonight I held my sleeping baby in my arms and my heart almost burst because it was so full.  He looked so peaceful and so perfect and I was reminded how blessed I am to be a mom.  It is hard and it is tiring but every time I see little Knoxy smile, or hear him coo, or watch him sleep peacefully in his bed at the end of every day I melt a little bit and I realize that there is nothing else I would rather do.  I love everything about my little boy. 

I love his bald little head and his blonde eye brows and eye lashes.

I love how he rarely cries but rather lets out yells and loud grunts every now and again to let us know he is not happy with us.

I love how much he loves to snuggle with us and be close to us.

 

I love how he kicks his legs and swings his arms when he gets excited.

How cute is that Ragnar onesie? Courtesy of Peggy Jensen

I love his dimples.

I love how he not only smiles when he dreams but also belly laughs.  He has done it from birth and it is my favorite thing.  I think he is dreaming about heaven and laughing with all his friends.

I love how much he loves baths.

Whose child just falls asleep in the bathtub??

I love his round cheeks and his chin that looks so much like his dads.

I love how he loves to hold my finger in his hands whenever I hold him.

I love how much he loves his binky and that it can almost always calm him down when he cries.

I love his big blue eyes and how intently he focuses on things like he understands them and has wisdom beyond his years.

I love his perfectly soft skin and how good it smells after a bath.

I love that he has the sweetest spirit I've ever met. 

But mostly tonight I just love that he is ours. Forever.

1 month

It's hard to believe that our sweet little man has already been in our lives for a month.  He has been such a blessing and he makes us so happy.  He is the most peaceful baby and brings such a sweet spirit into our home.  I've heard it said before, but it's true when people say that being a mom is the hardest and most wonderful thing that can be done.  I have never been so tired but every time I look in little Knox's face it becomes so worth it and I remember how incredibly lucky I am to be his mom.

Watching my sweet husband be a dad has been so wonderful and has made me fall even more in love with him.  He is so patient with Knox and with me.  He is always offering to get up with Knox in the night and asking what he can do for me.  He keeps our house so clean, does our laundry, and helps make meals all while completing his last year of law school and prepping for the bar exam.  I feel so grateful to have such a good man as my husband. He really does it all.

I am starting to settle in to my new role as a mommy.  I am fairly certain that as soon as you have a child you suddenly become able to function on about 5 hours less sleep, you can carry 19 different things at once, you lose all sense of modesty (ex: walking out in my garment top while trying on clothes at the mall the other day.  Luckily I realized before anyone saw...I think), and things that once grossed you out now don't (ex: my sweet baby peed in my eye the other day while changing his diaper and it just made me laugh.) And as soon as you become a mom all the things that once seemed so big suddenly seem so small and the small things become the big things.  Like when your baby smiles in his sleep, when he stares at your face so intently while you talk to him, when he falls asleep on your chest and you don't feel the need to move for hours because you don't want him to wake up, and when you go in and see your baby sleeping so peacefully in his crib and realize he's perfect and being a mom is the best job in the world.

Blake and I try to take care of Knox and go to school but we really couldn't do it without a lot of help.  My mom comes down twice a week and sleeps over and watches Knox while we're in class the next morning.  We are SO grateful.  We love having her in our house and it would be incredibly difficult to finish school without her.  Blake's mom came and stayed with us for a few days and she was so wonderful.  She is so helpful and seriously the woman does it all.  She cooked for us, cleaned for us, tailored Blake's shirts, and just made our house a little brighter for a few days. We love having her around and wish she lived closer.  Blake's siblings come over and watch Knox at least once a week so I can go to class without the little bug.  It is so hard to leave Knox but it makes it easier knowing that he is in such good hands. Everyone is so generous and helpful and we are so thankful.

Our little life is pretty close to perfect right now.  Blake and I lay in bed at nights after we put Knox down and talk about how much we love our baby and how much he has made our life so much better.  We realized that we don't ever want to be 2 again because 3 is so much better than 2.  We feel so grateful for our little man.  He is the most content baby ever and is truly our greatest gift.  All I have ever wanted in life is to be a mom and a wife and I am living my dream with the two most handsome boys in the world.  I am one lucky lady.

Here is a glimpse into our life with baby.

 This is how homework gets done now.

 Such a sweetheart.

We took Knox to the car show when he was two weeks old.  We want him to know what's really important from a young age....

 We think he is the most handsome baby in the world. His eyes are turning more and more blue everyday.

Auntie Jennae came to visit and we loved it. 

 Our little family of three.

We love having Grandma Tengberg in town. 

the end of it all.

When I look back on my pregnancy I think about how incredible it was. Instead of remembering how uncomfortable I was, usually I just remember how magical it felt when Knox kicked me, how special it was when Blake and I would lay in bed together and talk to Knox through my belly telling him how excited we were to meet him, and how fun it was waking up every day thinking that maybe that would be the day we would meet our son.  But then I look at the pictures of me the last two weeks of my pregnancy and I remember why I cried every few days due to discomfort, why people laughed when I waddled my pregnant body everywhere I went, and why I never slept. This aren't my finest moments but they need to be documented for memories sake.  So, for your viewing pleasure, here is Mari the cow (literally).

36 weeks

37 weeks--Full term

Oh what? No one else takes pictures of themselves at 37 weeks wearing cow pajamas?

I am extremely glad that I now get to hold Knox in my arms instead of my belly.  Here's to one pregnancy being done with a few more to go.  

Our little miracle

On December 31st at 12:39 a.m., we welcomed Knox Van Tengberg into the world and into our lives.  He nearly broke the scales at a hefty 6 lbs 7 oz 18 inches long.  He is perfect in every way.  He has already changed our lives more than we thought possible and I already love him more than I ever dreamed.  He is the sweetest, most calm, and relaxed baby and I feel privileged to be his mama.

After a long (8 week) labor of sorts, I was more than ready to have our little boy join us.  Once finals ended for both Blake and I we felt content knowing that if our baby came we would be ready.  As soon as I reached 37 weeks I was ready to do everything in my power to get him OUT!  Unfortunately, nothing seemed to be working.  Ironic right? I went to the doctors on the 28th of December and I was dilated to a 3.  The doctor worked his magic and said he hoped we would be back within the next 12-24 hours because I would be in labor.  NOPE.  I woke up at 2:00 that night sobbing because I wasn't in labor and I was pretty sure I was going to die if I had to walk around for one more day with our baby inside me.  Blake hugged me and talked to me and told me it was OK to be sad then but once morning came we just had to be happy and know that our baby just needed a little more time to cook.  (I seriously have the best husband.) So, cry I did, and then when I woke up we moved on.  We packed up all the Brostrom boys and headed to the zoo for a wonderful day.  I walked and walked and walked and I had so many contractions I wanted to tip over at times but still no baby.

The next day I woke up and I felt like perhaps my water had broke.  I called the doctors office and talked to a nurse and she said to go into the hospital to have them check and to monitor the baby because it sounded like I was going into labor.  Blake and I had heard this so many times that we weren't overly concerned.  We packed a few things up and drove down to American Fork.  It was the least stressful drive to the hospital we'd ever had.  I wasn't expecting any miracles because every time I did I just got let down.  I went in and got all hooked up to monitors and the nurse checked to make sure my water hadn't broken.  It hadn't broken but the baby was already at a 1 station and I was dilated to a 4.  The doctor said they could release me but the nurse was certain that I would be back before the end of her shift in labor and ready to have our sweet baby.  So, Blake and I drove to the mall and walked from one end to the other a thousand times and when we got tired of that we walked around the outside of it a few more times.  Then we went to our house where I sat on our exercise ball and bounced for a while.  I couldn't tell if I was in labor or not so we decided to stop by the hospital one more time on our way back to Farmington to have them check.

Finally, the news I had been waiting for....I was dilated to a 5 and they could check me in!  It felt like a dream.  I remember walking down the hall to our room feeling like this couldn't be real.  After everything we had been through, we were going to get to hold our baby boy that night!!  They got me in, hooked me up to an IV, started me on pitocin, and broke my water.  After a few hours and a few too many painful contractions I felt ready for an epidural.  Once I received the epidural the night was as peaceful as could be.  Blake and I just laid in our room and talked and soaked up our last few minutes as a family of two.  We both talked about how peaceful it felt.  I had always heard horror stories about labor and this couldn't have been any more different.  I have the best memories of that night. My sweet husband rubbed my back (which I could only moderately feel), rubbed my head, rubbed my feet, talked to me, got me lots of jello and popsicles, and let me squeeze his hand so tight when I had big contractions.  He couldn't have treated me any better.  We had the best nurse who was so sweet and so attentive.  The doctor that I had been seeing since 30 weeks wasn't the on call doctor that day but he was so sweet and said he would come in anyway and deliver my baby. I was SO grateful. It took me forever to get from a 5 to a 6 but only about 20 minutes to go from a 6 to a 10.  Finally around 12:20 on December 31st, they decided I was ready to push.  Everything went as perfect as could be and 19 minutes later I was holding my angel in my arms.  He came out screaming and peeing EVERYWHERE.  Literally, the kid came out peeing.  My doctor thought that was hilarious and quickly flipped him so that he could pee all over Blake.  The nurses were dying saying they had never seen that before.  He was so healthy and got a 10 APGAR score.

It was a long night with very little sleep but one that I will remember forever and will always be one of my greatest memories.  After a lot of stress and sleepless nights, I finally had my two sweet, happy, and healthy boys right next to me and I could not have been happier.  I feel so blessed to be a mom and I love every second of it.  So, without further ado, meet Knox.

In labor and so ready to have the little man!!

6 lbs 7 oz and so healthy

Meeting my sweet boy for the first time.

Just a few minutes old

Perfect feet

Burrito baby

He loves his dad SO much

Such a sweet angel baby.

some christmas miracles

Today is a BIG day. First,I took my last final.  It was no small miracle.  Pre-term labor, bed rest, and hospital stays weren't conducive to being a full time student but I am happy to say that I DID IT.  4 finals are all that stand between me and a college diploma.  


Second, I am officially 8 months today.  Meaning in a little over a week I will officially be full term.  I am so proud of my little boy for hanging on as hard as he could even when my body wanted him out.  He is so tough and I already love him so much.  I've also officially reached elephant status.  


Exhibit A:

And last but certainly not least, my sweet husband took his second to last final today and he only has one more tomorrow.  This has probably been a harder semester for Blake than for me and he has fought through it.  He works SO hard and always pushes himself to do his very best even if that means waking up at 5 a.m. every day so he can have as much time at the library as possible.  He really is the greatest husband and I am so lucky to be his wife.  Now, all he has to do is complete one more semester, take a few finals, and pass a super easy test they call the "bar exam" and he'll be a real life lawyer.  I've always wanted one of those. 


As you can see, it really is the season for miracles.  

showered with love

My ridiculously talented sister-in-law threw me the most beautiful baby shower that has ever been. Jamie doesn't do anything half way and this was no exception.

This was the beautiful spread. Jamie made it look stunning. She made literally dozens of DELICIOUS cake pops. (I ate at least a dozen...for the baby.) She made THIS big beautiful cake. 

And look at the inside of it.  This girl does everything!

She sent the bottom layer home with me and Blake and we snacked on it for a good week. That cake was also for the baby. He LOVES cake. It honestly tasted as good as it looks. 

Jamie cut out literally hundreds of clouds to string across tables and to set perfectly on the straws. It all went along perfectly with the theme of a shower.  


And of course I was spoiled rotten and showered with gifts.  We got our stroller and car seat, diaper bag, dozens of darling and perfectly hand crafted quilts, and a lot of SHOES.  This kid has a better shoe collection than me.  Here is a little peak at one of my favorite pairs courtesy of my mother-in-law. 

  It was a perfectly lovely day and I felt incredibly blessed to be surrounded by all the people I love the very most.  Knox is going to be one loved and spoiled little boy and I am one spoiled mama.